Throughout my high school experienced I have noticed that depression and self-hatred strongly exists in the lives of teenagers, more than I ever would have thought. I have two friends that have attempted to commit suicide, two that have cut themselves, three that have wished they were dead, and probably others that I don’t even know about. When I see these people I never would have guessed that they hated themselves, or were upset; they are amazing people. So I may not have experienced this self-hatred myself, but I do know the effects it has on people, and that it happens.
I would like to start off by asking you to do something for me, and also yourself. I know talking about it is the last thing that you want to do but I have found with my friends that it has helped them greatly. Find someone you care about, and that cares about you. There is bound to be someone even if you think that there isn’t. Whether it be your parents, a close friend, or even a teacher, there is someone. Find someone you can trust and ask to talk to them privately. Tell them about your problems, and what you think about yourself; if you give them a chance they just might surprise you with some type of helpful advice.
Next you need to know that whatever is bothering you matters. I know a commonly said statement to sadness is, “it could be worse.” Although that may be right, it shouldn’t be said. If a problem is enough to make you upset then it is important, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I hate hearing people make fun of others because their problems are, “dumb” or “irrational.” It just makes matters worse.
Finally, and mostly, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. As I said in the intro, depression and self-hatred is occurs more often than you would think in our world. There are others out there that feel the same way you do. That you’re not good enough, that you’re too big, that you’re too weird, boring, ugly. That no one will ever love you so why should you love yourself. Well let me tell you that, that is a lie. We have a God who loves all of us. Who created us all the way he wanted, so to Him we are perfect. I know not everyone who reads this believes the same way I do so it’s not just God who loves us. Our parents, our friends, even our teachers. Even someone just walking down the same aisle of Walmart may look at you and wish they were you at the same time you wish you weren’t yourself. Even my baseball coach they other day pulled me aside and made sure that I knew that he loved me, and that he cared. Later that night he texted me to make sure that I knew he meant it. On the day of Prom he told us to be safe, and that if we did get in trouble to text him so he could drop everything and come get us to make sure we were alright. I cried after both of these examples. So even if you don’t know it someone loves and cares about you, someone wants to be you.
Know that you’re beautiful in you’re own way. I’ve never gotten much attention from anyone, because I’m different than everyone else, and I’m not that “good looking” by societies standards. Even though no one else thinks so, my girlfriend looks at me like I am a treasure. She looks at me like I am the greatest person in the world, and the most attractive guy she’s ever seen.I never thought anyone would ever look at me that way. There’s something beautiful about everyone. A quote that sticks with me ever since I heard the leg-less and arm-less man say it, he said, “If the world says your’e not good enough, get a second opinion.”
I ask you to put away the sharp edges you harm yourself with, throw away the pills, and say no to the alcohol. Push those self-harming and hatred thoughts from your mind because you deserve so much more than that. Let the teardrops on my keyboard prove to you that I care, that someone out there that cares about YOU.
A stranger who cares.