The Serial Killer From My Mind (Part One)

Daily Prompt:  “Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t anymore.”

Twist: “Make today’s post the first in a three-post series.”

The Serial Killer from my mind lives in each and every one of your minds as well. You have been his victim at least once in your life, no matter where, or who you are. His name you ask, Addiction.

Addiction takes over your life, and destroys different parts of it. In this post I want to talk about how he kills time, and not in the “fun way.” When I was younger I used to play a game by the name of World of Warcraft. I loved that game, still do actually. Blizzard has done a brilliant job developing it. The only problem with it was that Mr. Addiction got a hold of my mind using that game. I would spend countless hours playing it a day. I remember even having friends over and I was ignoring them so I could level up just one more time, then another time, and another. I COULDN’T STOP PLAYING!

Luckily I was eventually cut off of this addiction when my account got hacked and I have yet to start paying for it again, although I have been dabbling with the free trial lately. I haven’t decided whether or not to buy it again. We’ll see, but I know I’ll moderate it this time. I have to now, I have responsibilities. Anyways, Mr. Addiction removed multiple hours, years worth probably, from my life. He killed them, and I will never see them again. And time is precious.

Addiction has a way of stealing time from us without us even knowing it, because we feel like we need to be doing what we are addicted to.  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have fun doing things, WoW is an amazing game and I hope to return to it one day, just remember your own life. Remember to control what you do, and not let it control you. Do not let Mr. Addiction begin killing something from your life.

The Art of Being “Weird”

Many times I hear others call me weird, strange, or different. Even when they don’t say it out loud I can definitely read it on their faces. The raced eyebrow, the awkward smile, their eagerness to end the conversation. People don’t generally talk to me as often as they do others, unless they need help with something. To most, I’m just that strange kid who is different than everyone else, and the one to shy away from– AND I LOVE IT!

Being different, or “weird” as some might say, is one of my favorite qualities of myself and other people. To me the word “weird” means that I’m my own person. It means that I live my own life the way I want to without the input of everyone else. I’m not following their lifestyles but writing my own. I am being me, and having fun doing it. I’m going through life without worrying what other people think about me. In other words I’m LIVING! This doesn’t make me popular by any means, but it does put the right people in my life. Those who are truly friends with me are those who accept my awkwardness for me. They embrace who I am and love me for me.

So go ahead, call me weird, different, or strange. It doesn’t phase me in the slightest; in fact I’ll take it as a compliment. I was created to be me, not you. Go ahead and live like everyone else, and I’LL LIVE LIKE ME.

To Those who Fear a Distant Love

I used to think that a long distance relationship would never work out, and that those who tried were only hurting themselves. I used to wonder how a love could flourish if you couldn’t see or interact with the one you love in person. Perhaps this is true for many relationships that try to go long distance, but now I know that it can be done; it just takes work.

I know this now because my girlfriend of nearly two years is more than likely moving to Texas this Summer for our Senior year. I know I am young so most of you probably will say that I know nothing about love but I’d say I do. Within our two year experience my girlfriend and I have laughed together, cried together, upset each other, played together. We’ve had great times as well as not so great times. We’ve fought for, cared for, and been there for each other. I feel as if the two years we’ve been together gives me the right to say that I know what love is.

Anyways, like I said she’s moving. I am well aware that maintaining a long-distance relationship will be harder than it is when she is here with me. I know that I’ll miss her, and wish I could see her again one last time, then one last time after that, then again, and again. I realize that at first I will cry, maybe daily, but eventually I will get used to the idea. I will be willing to wait for her to come back to me once the school year is over to plan the rest of our lives together (yes we’re that kind of couple). So for her, I can wait. And I will wait because I’ve experienced what my life is like with her in it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So now I know how a long distance relationship can work. You must be willing to push through it, and love the other person entirely. You’ll need to know that without a doubt your partner is who you want across from you at the alter, and buried next to you when that time comes. Those of you who are afraid of losing your girl, or your boy, because they will be temporary away from you, just know that you can do it. With effort that same love will still be between the both of you and when they return to your waiting arms, that same love will be stronger. It will be stronger because you know what it is to live without each other and you’ll never want to experience it again.

To Those Who Hate Themselves:

Dear Friends,

Throughout my high school experienced I have noticed that depression and self-hatred strongly exists in the lives of teenagers, more than I ever would have thought. I have two friends that have attempted to commit suicide, two that have cut themselves, three that have wished they were dead, and probably others that I don’t even know about. When I see these people I never would have guessed that they hated themselves, or were upset; they are amazing people. So I may not have experienced this self-hatred myself, but I do know the effects it has on people, and that it happens.

I would like to start off by asking you to do something for me, and also yourself. I know talking about it is the last thing that you want to do but I have found with my friends that it has helped them greatly. Find someone you care about, and that cares about you. There is bound to be someone even if you think that there isn’t. Whether it be your parents, a close friend, or even a teacher, there is someone. Find someone you can trust and ask to talk to them privately. Tell them about your problems, and what you think about yourself; if you give them a chance they just might surprise you with some type of helpful advice.

Next you need to know that whatever is bothering you matters. I know a commonly said statement to sadness is, “it could be worse.” Although that may be right, it shouldn’t be said. If a problem is enough to make you upset then it is important, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I hate hearing people make fun of others because their problems are, “dumb” or “irrational.” It just makes matters worse.

Finally, and mostly, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. As I said in the intro, depression and self-hatred is occurs more often than you would think in our world. There are others out there that feel the same way you do. That you’re not good enough, that you’re too big, that you’re too weird, boring, ugly. That no one will ever love you so why should you love yourself. Well let me tell you that, that is a lie. We have a God who loves all of us. Who created us all the way he wanted, so to Him we are perfect. I know not everyone who reads this believes the same way I do so it’s not just God who loves us. Our parents, our friends, even our teachers. Even someone just walking down the same aisle of Walmart may look at you and wish they were you at the same time you wish you weren’t yourself. Even my baseball coach they other day pulled me aside and made sure that I knew that he loved me, and that he cared. Later that night he texted me to make sure that I knew he meant it. On the day of Prom he told us to be safe, and that if we did get in trouble to text him so he could drop everything and come get us to make sure we were alright. I cried after both of these examples. So even if you don’t know it someone loves and cares about you, someone wants to be you.

Know that you’re beautiful in you’re own way. I’ve never gotten much attention from anyone, because I’m different than everyone else, and I’m not that “good looking” by societies standards. Even though no one else thinks so, my girlfriend looks at me like I am a treasure. She looks at me like I am the greatest person in the world, and the most attractive guy she’s ever seen.I never thought anyone would ever look at me that way. There’s something beautiful about everyone. A quote that sticks with me ever since I heard the leg-less and arm-less man say it, he said, “If the world says your’e not good enough, get a second opinion.”

I ask you to put away the sharp edges you harm yourself with, throw away the pills, and say no to the alcohol. Push those self-harming and hatred thoughts from your mind because you deserve so much more than that. Let the teardrops on my keyboard prove to you that I care, that someone out there that cares about YOU.

Sincerely,

A stranger who cares.

Live Today, Plan Tomorrow, Never Forget Yesterday

About a month ago I had a little extra time to myself, so I decided to take a walk through the park and reflect on my life. During my reflection I learned that I’m happy with who I am. This led to me thinking about my past as well, and how everything I have gone through has somehow morphed me into who I am today.

While reflecting I learned that it’s important to think back to my past; to go through my memories often, whether they be good or bad. It’s important to remember my tears as well as my smiles; the happiness and the pain because it all has made me who I am today.

I learned to never forget the people who were once in my life as well as those who are still with me today. To never forget how they have made me feel and everything I’ve experienced with them. In some way, they helped form me with the impact they had, no matter how small it was.

So what I want you to get from this is to look back at everything you’ve gone through in this adventure we call life. Remember everything you have overcome. Remember all of your accomplishments and mistakes, you’ve learned from both of them. Remember where you came from and hold on tight to your memories; they are extremely important. Take the time to sit down and go through your memories every once in awhile, because you will never want to forget them. You can live for today, plan for tomorrow, but never forget yesterday.